What Happened

I usually call my mother every Sunday morning, however I was at the beach and when I called I got the answering machine.  Her and Chet went out for lunch. I was traveling and missed my call later and decided to call Monday. On Monday, February 21^st at 10:00 AM I made my call and talked a long time with mama. She said she felt great and was considering a trip to Pennsylvania to see her sisters and friends. We hung up and said goodbye.  They were going to a pool party that afternoon and after lunch mama laid down to take a nap. Chet left her about 1:00 to run some errands. He returned about 2:30 and found her on the floor of the bedroom. He was puzzled on why she was on the floor when the bed was right there. He then realized she fell off a step stool trying to get at the hats. She was probably trying to get her outfit together for that afternoon. Chet said her eyes were glazed and looked real funny. Her speech was also slurred. When he tried to move her, she was in great pain. He called 911 and the EMT’s arrived. He knew them through his volunteer work with the fire department. They thought she has a stroke and took her to the hospital. Chet called us that evening with the news. He said he would know more tomorrow.

On the 22^nd he called in the morning and said they were going to operate on her and give her a hip replacement. Here vital signs were a little erratic and they wanted to stabilize her before the operation. He said they would probable operate on Wednesday and try to have her walking the next day. She would probably have to go into rehab for a period of time either at an institution or at home. Josh and I talked and I told him that I would go down first and check things out before he came down. Chet said the anesthetic could take several days to get out of the system. I packed the car expecting to have to spend a considerable amount to time down there to relieve Chet and deal with a mother who would have no part of rehab. I told Josh we would probably have to “double team” this so one of us would be down there at any given time. I did not consider any of this “life threatening”.

I left Pensacola early and drove the 400 miles arriving on schedule to meet Chet at 3:00 PM. I pulled in the driveway and Chet said she was not doing well. I threw the stuff in the house, jumped into his car, and we drove the 30 minutes to the Hospital. During the drive, I realized I left my cell phone on the charger in the car. I did not want Chet to go back for it. We arrived at the nursing station and the nurse started talking about Hospice and breathing tubes. I was taken aback and asked if she was critical and she said “yes”. I knew her wishes were for no artificial measures and we told her so.

I entered the room and I saw her. I was shocked. I immediately ran out to the nurse’s station and attempted to call Josh. I left messages that he needed to get down here now. I went back into the room with Chet and asked if he would please go back to my car and get me my cell phone. I figured I was going to need it. Chet left and I watched mama die. I held her hand and told her how much I loved her. She was unresponsive all the time. I watched the monitor as her vital signs disappeared. She waited until I got there before she let go. I gave her a last kiss and covered her face with the sheet. She was gone. Josh called and I gave him the news. Chet came with the cell phone and he was informed. He said he watched his mother, father, first wife and 40 year old son die so there would be no tears. I was not as strong. I called Bonnie and told her. The doctor arrived and told me that the surgery was necessary, without it, she could not walk and be in extreme pain. All the tests and MRI’s showed no indication of a stroke. They could not tell me what happened except her system could not take the shock. We left her and her belongings and returned home. The whole experience lasted less than two hours.

As I think about it, I know what happened. It wasn’t the shock. Mama was a very proud person. She refused to use a cane, walker, or wheelchair. During the three days of Becker’s wedding this last July 4^th, she walked everywhere and required no assistance. The wheelchair we borrowed for her stayed in the trunk of the car. Bonnie and I were fortunate to spend some time with her a month ago on our way to Orlando. On our drive home, we both remarked on here incredible memory. I thought that it is unfortunate that when we die, all of those, memories, experiences, and emotions are lost. She knew she would be bed ridden and in rehab for a period of time. That was not for her. She decided now was the time and all she needed was for me to be there. She got her wish.