Obituary

“I used to think of my life in decades, but now I think of my life in moments, minutes, and days, each one a gift because we’re not promised tomorrow”

How can we say goodbye to you?  For 93 years you have been so much a part of so many peoples’ lives. You were an inspiration to everyone that you touched. Your talents and enthusiasm for life were contagious. Born Mary Melnyk on April 24,1917 in Plains Pennsylvania, the 9^th child of eleven. You always fought hard to try to better yourself through education and hard work, becoming a noted fashion designer using the “MERRI” name. You married John Mohanco in 1941 and with him had two sons, John and George. They were raised with all the love and care that any two people could give. After John’s death in 1983, you remarried a wonderful man named Leonard “Chet” Chesterfield and continued your life adventure by moving to Florida. Here, you again made a name for yourself by giving your talents to the theatre and your love to our wounded American veterans. You left our world on February 24^th with all the class, kindness, and spirit of adventure you have shown all your life. We will never forget you.

Your survivors are your sons George Mohanco (Bonnie Becker), Pensacola Fl, and John Mohanco (Lilia Ostapenko), Vienna Va.; Husband Chet Chesterfield, Homossassa Fl,; grand children Alania Mohanco, Vienna,VA, Nazar Ostapenko, Vienna,VA; Robin Heller (Chaz), Pensacola Fl; Becker Mohanco (Jennifer) Pensacola Fl. Brothers Bill Melnyk, Lathrup Villlage MI; George Melnyk (Irene), Endicott,NY; Sisters Irene Melnyk, Plains PA, Helen Melnyk, Plains PA; and Alice Zaley, Wilkes-Barre PA; As per your wishes, there will be no formal ceremony. In lieu of flowers, please make any donations to her granddaughter’s non-profit swim league., Seastars Aquatics, In C/O Robin Heller , 5425 Hibiscus Rd. Pensacola Fl 32504 or online at Seastarsaquatics.org. Please share your thoughts at http://www.marymohancochesterfield.blogspot.com/  or Email at merrichesterfld@aol.com         

Friends Memories

Plans

After moms passing, Chet and George met with the Crematory Service. Her wishes were to be cremated with no service. Her notes said “have a party and don’t mourn”.  Half of the ashes will be interred above ground at the Brooksville National Military Cemetery in Bushnell Florida. Chet is a Navy veteran from WWII.  Here, there will be a niche for two and a final place for Chet also.

There will be a get together in Homossassa Fl for her local friends in March. Bonnie and George will attend and bring back the other half back to Pensacola. We will have a family ceremony at the beach she loved so much with the six of us-Bonnie, George, Robbie, Chaz, Becker, and Jennifer. Some time in the future, George will meet up with Josh and put the other half with John in Olyphant PA. We may also put some ashes in Plains (where she grew up), Franklin Street (where she raised us) and Harvey’s Lake (where she lived before Florida).     

Family Memories

What Happened

I usually call my mother every Sunday morning, however I was at the beach and when I called I got the answering machine.  Her and Chet went out for lunch. I was traveling and missed my call later and decided to call Monday. On Monday, February 21^st at 10:00 AM I made my call and talked a long time with mama. She said she felt great and was considering a trip to Pennsylvania to see her sisters and friends. We hung up and said goodbye.  They were going to a pool party that afternoon and after lunch mama laid down to take a nap. Chet left her about 1:00 to run some errands. He returned about 2:30 and found her on the floor of the bedroom. He was puzzled on why she was on the floor when the bed was right there. He then realized she fell off a step stool trying to get at the hats. She was probably trying to get her outfit together for that afternoon. Chet said her eyes were glazed and looked real funny. Her speech was also slurred. When he tried to move her, she was in great pain. He called 911 and the EMT’s arrived. He knew them through his volunteer work with the fire department. They thought she has a stroke and took her to the hospital. Chet called us that evening with the news. He said he would know more tomorrow.

On the 22^nd he called in the morning and said they were going to operate on her and give her a hip replacement. Here vital signs were a little erratic and they wanted to stabilize her before the operation. He said they would probable operate on Wednesday and try to have her walking the next day. She would probably have to go into rehab for a period of time either at an institution or at home. Josh and I talked and I told him that I would go down first and check things out before he came down. Chet said the anesthetic could take several days to get out of the system. I packed the car expecting to have to spend a considerable amount to time down there to relieve Chet and deal with a mother who would have no part of rehab. I told Josh we would probably have to “double team” this so one of us would be down there at any given time. I did not consider any of this “life threatening”.

I left Pensacola early and drove the 400 miles arriving on schedule to meet Chet at 3:00 PM. I pulled in the driveway and Chet said she was not doing well. I threw the stuff in the house, jumped into his car, and we drove the 30 minutes to the Hospital. During the drive, I realized I left my cell phone on the charger in the car. I did not want Chet to go back for it. We arrived at the nursing station and the nurse started talking about Hospice and breathing tubes. I was taken aback and asked if she was critical and she said “yes”. I knew her wishes were for no artificial measures and we told her so.

I entered the room and I saw her. I was shocked. I immediately ran out to the nurse’s station and attempted to call Josh. I left messages that he needed to get down here now. I went back into the room with Chet and asked if he would please go back to my car and get me my cell phone. I figured I was going to need it. Chet left and I watched mama die. I held her hand and told her how much I loved her. She was unresponsive all the time. I watched the monitor as her vital signs disappeared. She waited until I got there before she let go. I gave her a last kiss and covered her face with the sheet. She was gone. Josh called and I gave him the news. Chet came with the cell phone and he was informed. He said he watched his mother, father, first wife and 40 year old son die so there would be no tears. I was not as strong. I called Bonnie and told her. The doctor arrived and told me that the surgery was necessary, without it, she could not walk and be in extreme pain. All the tests and MRI’s showed no indication of a stroke. They could not tell me what happened except her system could not take the shock. We left her and her belongings and returned home. The whole experience lasted less than two hours.

As I think about it, I know what happened. It wasn’t the shock. Mama was a very proud person. She refused to use a cane, walker, or wheelchair. During the three days of Becker’s wedding this last July 4^th, she walked everywhere and required no assistance. The wheelchair we borrowed for her stayed in the trunk of the car. Bonnie and I were fortunate to spend some time with her a month ago on our way to Orlando. On our drive home, we both remarked on here incredible memory. I thought that it is unfortunate that when we die, all of those, memories, experiences, and emotions are lost. She knew she would be bed ridden and in rehab for a period of time. That was not for her. She decided now was the time and all she needed was for me to be there. She got her wish.